Motorcycle Soccer is a Thing, So Where Do We Sign Up?

I'd hate to see what constitutes a slide tackle...

Photo by: YouTube

By: Jonathon Klein

Dec 17, 2024 at 7:35am ET

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In the wide, wild, wide world of sports, countless options exist for mechanized competition. Whether it's head-to-head racing like MotoGP or Dakar, trick competitions such as the X-Games, time trials like Erzberg, or something more individual such as hard enduro, there's almost no stone unturned in terms of what you can do.

However, I didn't have motorcycle soccer on my Bingo card for something that exists, not to mention looks stupidly cool. Nor would I have guessed that the Germans would be behind this particular clip. I mean, I love my German friends, but they're not exactly the most out-there group around. They like order, structure, and things to be where they need to be. It's why you really shouldn't be working on your German motorcycles if you don't have a mechanical engineering degree to back it up.

This, however, is chaos. And I'm here for it.

According to my brief research, what we're watching is called Motoball, which makes sense and sounds like a direct sequel to Rollerball. The Chris Klein one, not the original. As far as how the sport works, it's similar to both soccer and polo, in that it combines the layout of soccer with the player being atop something else like polo. Instead of horses, however, they used motorcycles.

Duh.

What do you think?

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From the rules I found online, it's a five versus five format, with folks using two-stroke dirt bikes as their method of transportation. However, the goalie remains on their feet. No dirt bike for you! Like soccer, football for all you Europeans, the game is split into sections, but like American football, it's split into four quarters of twenty minutes a piece. The ball is also significantly larger than your average soccer ball, which makes it somewhat easier to go after when you're on a motorcycle.

All of which, however, makes for a seriously entertaining game that I really wish I could try my hand at. Why? Because I'm trash at soccer, but I think I could do this. My only concern? Slide tackles...