It goes exactly as you imagine it will.

Everyone here has heard of jousting, right? The medieval “sport”—I guess that’s what we can call it—involved trying to throw your opponent off his horse using lances. Well, apparently, chaps in the 50s revived the medieval show of courage and gave it a modern twist. Oh no, they didn’t replaced the armors; they replaced the horses. With Vespas

Oh Pathé, your wealth of historical videos is a treasure trove, especially when it comes to diving into candid recordings of what people did with motorcycles decades ago. Out of all of them, however, this one has to be the weirdest. 

So apparently, 60 years ago, the way to impress a lady jumped back in time a few centuries to an era of damsels in distress, valiant steeds, and knights in shining 100-lb armors. No, this isn’t 1275 but rather 1957 and the two men in the video are about to joust. The only upgrade afforded in this “modern day” version of the sporting event? The horses have been replaced by two-wheel steeds—Vespas to be specific. Everything else from the armor, the lances to which on of the ladies attaches her scarf, and even the “page boys” is replicated to various degrees of historical accuracy. 

This hilariously weird video shows the preparation of “knights” Michael and Roy as they get dressed in actual steel armors and prepped for their dual. Then, we get to watch the most bizarre of encounters as they ride in each other’s direction on an uneven terrain, lance in one hand, throttle in the other.  It looks exactly as you expect it to. 

On the first run, both knights lose their lances, but none prevails. As they heavily maneuver their Vespas around—heavy because of the armors—the lance boys pick up the fallen poles and hand them over to their respective champion. Ultimately, Roy prevails, managing to push Michael out of balance not once, but twice. He falls over over and like a toppled turtle, awaits for help from his crew to get back up. And now, to feed the horses—uuuh refuel the Vespas—and raise a gobelet to the champion.