Area Man Caught on Video Shtupping a Scooter

Look, it's okay to love your bike. Just don't, you know, love your bike

Man, you guys are not going to believe this one. Back at the beginning of February, a gentleman strolled into a Chinese scooter shop with love on his mind. Not the love of a woman mind you; nor of country, his fellow man, or even platonic love. No, our man was there for the scooters.

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Wait, what? Oh yes, it was the scooters he was after. Why though? Maybe he was lonely, or maybe he lost a bet. Maybe he's one of those people wired to fall in love with inanimate objects, or he could just be your run of the mill perv. We'll probably never know for sure, but whatever his deal was he went to that dealership on a mission. He would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for the pesky security camera that he either didn't see or didn't care about.

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In a kind of grainy video posted to LiveLeak, you see our man wander into a room full of scooters. He picks a likely looking little thing in the corner, drops trou, straddles the machine backwards, and, uh, goes to town as it were. A couple times he stops and gets dressed again, probably because he hears a noise or thinks someone's coming, but he's soon back at it. Thankfully, the video is pretty short and stops before la petit mort, so we're not entirely sure what happened next. There's no word on whether he stuck around to cuddle or if he texted the scooter afterwards, so there's sadly little closure on this whirlwind love affair.

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If you'd like to watch the slightly Not-Work-Safe video, we've included it for your edification. Hopefully our man finds love eventually and without defiling any more scooters.