Perusing Guy Martin’s facebook page this morning for info on his crash, I came across this video of him from last year’s race. Not so much a how to as it is a meditation on what happens when Guy avoids running into things, it’s a compelling reminder that the TT is just five days away. Still, we can devise our own guide based on the video.

How to outrun a helicopter:

Step One: Acquire a very fast motorcycle, tune the engine (anything north of 240bhp) should do. You’ll also want superbike-spec suspension, wheels and brakes. Fit the largest bubble screen you can manage and adjust the ergonomics using different bars and pegs to the point where you can actually ride the damn thing fast.

Step Two: Spend a lifetime racing to the point where sustained 180mph speeds are just another day at the office.

Step Three: Convince the government of a small tax shelter island in the Irish Sea to close its roads completely.

Step Four: Convince a helicopter to follow you. If you ride on US roads, this should actually be quite easy.

Step Five: Close your eyes, hang on and pin it.

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