♪♫You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life.♫♪

Readers of a certain age will recognize that little ditty as the intro to the 1979 American television sitcom The Facts of Life. It's also a pretty good description of EICMA 2018, where gorgeous, modern machines and space-age advances in motorcycle technology rub shoulders with obvious vaporware and new paint jobs on old bikes masquerading as "special editions." Sabrina went and wrote a story about what we consider the 5 best bikes at this year's show, so it's fallen to me—RideApart's resident crotchety, difficult to please old guy—to write about the five worst and most disappointing bikes in the show.