"If you don't break down, it's no fun."
The Honda Monkey is undeniably cute—and that may make you feel either deep adoration or deep loathing for it. One thing that everyone can agree on is that it is by no means whatsoever a rugged adventure bike. That’s precisely why the UK tour company the Adventurists wants you to want to tour Peru on one.
Whether you view it as an ironic hipster nightmare tour or a quirky and delightful challenge is, of course, entirely up to you. Either way, it works like this: The tour company gives you a bit of training and some directions to get where you want to go. It also sets up permits with local Amazonian tribes to go through their territories, and then hands you one of the company’s Monkeys and some vehicle insurance.
In addition to sending you off on your own to traverse your choice of two pre-selected routes, the Adventurists also throw you, in the company’s own words, “a launch party to kill half your brain and a finish party to kill the other.” These shenanigans are, of course, the sticky sandwich bread wrapped around “the most ridiculous week of adventuring chaos imaginable.”
Thankfully, although a vehicle deposit is required, the outline specifically states that you won’t be charged for the inevitable wear and tear these poor bikes will surely endure. For the record, the company would also like to reassure you that any roadside repairs you’ll need to make are “so easy a chimp could do it.”
This is an adventure trip that you undertake solo on your Monkey — although the tour company does mention that some riders have done it together (each riding their own woefully inadequate 90cc baby bike, of course). That does mean that you’re responsible for finding your own food, petrol, and lodgings — but according to the company, this isn’t actually very difficult as long as you stick to their routes.
The cost for the next two Peruvian Monkey Runs is £1295 per person, which currently works out to around $1643 USD. The next run goes from September 6 through September 15 of 2019, and the run after that goes from April 3 through April 12, 2020.
If you’re feeling particularly squicky about potential environmental impacts, the tour company requests all who participate to raise at least £500—or $635 USD—for the charity Cool Earth, which utilizes community-owned and led partnerships to halt rainforest destruction in the local area.
It’s unclear how directly this effort offsets any carbon costs of your combined travel segments to participate. However, once again, it’s completely up to you to decide if this entire experience is indeed up your potentially treacherous Peruvian mountain road.