We ask, if Santa rode, what did he ride?
Happy Holidays to you and yours. In celebration of the holiday season, the staff decided to ask: if Santa rode, what would he ride? Here are some of our guesses.
What Kind of Motorcycle Does Santa Ride?
Only as a temporary replacement for the reindeer, would be the Guinness Book of World Records’ largest motorcycle.
Built by Fabio Reggiani in Italy, this motorcycle is a record-breaking 16.7 ft. (5.1 meters) high and weighs 11,023 lbs. (5000 kilograms). The motorcycle is rideable and completed a 100-meter course at Montecchio Emilia, Italy.
The motorcycle is currently housed in an undisclosed location, but it’s the motorcycle that Santa would use if he could. - Joel Patel
As a little kid, I remember being in many Christmas plays. My classmates and I would sing all of the classic Christmas carols but the one I remember the most was "Silent Night". The perfect theme song for Santa Claus, I thought. Santa should never be heard and what would be the best way to deliver presents in typical stealth fashion using none other than an electric motorcycle.
While not completely silent, A Brammo Empulse R is relatively silent in comparison to, other, gas-powered bikes. The only downside is range, as many electric bikes offer well under 200 miles per charge with a complete "fill up" taking hours. No matter, this is Santa we're talking about, he'll make it work. - Titus Coleman
There are no motorcycle factories in the North Pole, and one would imagine that his elves are rather busy making millions off iPads and Cards Against Humanity decks to cobble together a custom ride for The Boss. So he's left with the rest of us, choosing from the embarrassment of riches that is the 2015 product lineup from the world's motorcycle manufacturers. He wants something with style, comfort, and classic lines. He wants the visceral pleasure of big torque and big sound. He wants the utility of big bags to haul all those presents, and a big plush seat to handle his considerable heft. Sense a theme? Santa Claus rides an Indian Chieftain. In red, of course. - Pete Hitzeman
Santa Claus is based on a character popular in the Netherlands and Belgium called Sinterklaas. A stately and elderly gentleman with long white hair, a full beard, and wearing a bishop's hat in red.
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With European origins, Santa Claus would undoubtedly ride a BMW. Being a somewhat unique elderly fellow he would most certainly choose a K1300S as his mount. He does use a reindeer with a glowing nose after all to pull his sleigh. The K1300S packs plenty of speed to reach all of the little children to drop off their toys, it's comfortable for those long rides, particularly with BMW's heated accessories, and just grown up enough to satisfy Mrs. Claus. A gentleman's conveyance for the greatest giver of all time. - William Connor
In order to handle his notorious weight problem, a high-output powerplant would be strongly advised for Saint Nick, and one with a fat torque curve would be ideal to pull his jolly ass out of the snow. For this, a big-bore V-twin ought to play. This brings us to the realm of Ducati’s, EBR’s and KTM’s with the likes of the Panigale 1299, 1190 RX and RC8-R. However, Santa would be better suited with a sportbike that is both modern yet has stood the test of time and perhaps, one that is slightly less obvious. This narrows us down to the legendary Suzuki TL1000R and Honda RC51 (RVT1000R). Both are awesome bikes that we wish were still in production and models that cause us to stare when a mint specimen thunders down the street. Back in the day, these bikes were torque monsters harnessed in compact sportbike chassis resulting in chest-pounding, knuckle-whitening, wheelie-rocking machines and these byproducts still prove true today. The RC51 even won the World Superbike title in 2000 with Colin Edwards on board as well as the AMA Superbike series in 2002 with Nicky Hayden in the pilot’s seat knocking Ducati off of its comfortable seat on the throne. However, the deciding factor between the two classic twins here is the SRAD-style tail sported by the TL1000R. We have to assume ol’ Kris Kringle could cram a serious amount of gifts (or coal loads) under that hump for any last-minute deliveries.
For all of this, the Suzuki TL1000R is the only sportbike truly fit for Saint Nick. - Bruce Speedman